Come On Peloton - Lets Do This! Card

She knew she was getting old when she got out of bed in the morning and she had chest pains..then look down and realised she was standing on her nipples! Card

Sunsets just make everything else disappear from your mind, don't they? she said. They certainly do, he replied, wondering how he was going to check the football scores on his phone without her noticing - Card

He was at the age when most of his time online was spent clicking on 'forgot username' and 'forgot password' - Card

Do we have to watch football every night? she asked. Of course not, he replied. It'll soon be cricket season! - Card

Jane body quivered, then shuddered, as her finger touched that magic spot - on, how she loved pressing 'Add To Basket'! - Card

Tiddles knew that the best way to guarantee a bit of attention was to sit in her owner's favourite gin glass! - Card

The bodywork Was collapsing, the gearstick was dead and there was no gas in the tank, but she loved him - Card